well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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