There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
