I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
