I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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