Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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