checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
