I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize