can we get nightvision for the apartment?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
