but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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