I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
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