just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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