I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize