Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
