yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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