SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
