Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
