so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
