um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize