I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
