Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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