I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
