I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
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