i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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