I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
