new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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