While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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