somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
