The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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