My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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