I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
