I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
