i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Randomize
