I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
