I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
