YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Randomize
