In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
