this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
