It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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