On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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