I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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