Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize