its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
