Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
