just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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