So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
