Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
