Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
