I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
