ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
