Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
