Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her

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(952): View more from Minnesota

Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...

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(970): View more from Colorado

Oh. He liked you.

(970): View more from Colorado

Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."

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(631): View more from New York

You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone

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(402): View more from Nebraska

next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest

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(206): View more from Washington

I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!

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(208): View more from Idaho

I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".

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