I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
