My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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