I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
