yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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