Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
