I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
