I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
