Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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