I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
