I am puke
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
