so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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