I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
