My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Randomize
