is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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