You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
