Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
So here I am, sexting at work.
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