would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
