Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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