Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
