My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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