Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
