Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
