Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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