Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
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