Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
