It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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