hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
