there's paper in my vomit.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
