I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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