is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
