Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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