And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
